"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009),
The psychological dynamics behind women & worry
By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach
Women worry about many different topics, from men to body image to relationships to their mother's approval; yet the same psychological drive is fueling this stressful emotion no matter what triggers it. I believe the real source behind the worry most women feel is control.
Not control in the sense of being a manipulative monster, (like Jane Fonda's character in the film "Monster-in-Law"), rather it's the need to know what's happening around her so she can feel empowered and in control of her emotions and environment.
Think of it this way.
The Cure for Worry is Control
When control goes up, worry goes down because the more a woman can understand the more she will automatically feel a sense of security and confidence inside. However, as a situation begins to feel out of control, worry dramatically increases, leading to more serious conditions like
· Social Phobia
· Stress disorders with physical symptoms like migraines
· Generalized Anxiety Disorders or
· Panic Attacks
Women process information verbally which is why they need to talk through so many issues to feel comfortable. When a woman feels connected through communication she feels confident and alive, instead of afraid.
Listen don’t Lecture
Men would do well to figure out that they could make rapid improvement in their relationships with women simply by listening, instead of lecturing the women in their life. She doesn’t want a quick ‘Mr. Fix-it” answer usually, she wants you to listen and allow them to sort through their fears, worries and concerns. When a woman feels safe in the relationship, her worries fade and psychological energy can be spent on living life, instead of living in fear of what might happen next.
There is a biblical principle that says, “Cast all of your worries on God, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Learn to give your worries to God through prayer, that way even if the people in your life don’t listen you can rest safe knowing that God always will be there for you.
About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture.
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