tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63391531977175177932024-03-05T22:10:01.049-08:00blogueando contigoJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-4456067627434773942014-01-13T20:13:00.001-08:002014-01-13T20:13:14.213-08:00School education in Thailand<div>I have written before about the special needs of Evangelists Robert & Farah Imtiaz (please read my previous blogs for more information). </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifuGOI-6IiO5ZMLBCqn0L_vh_IDhT8Oin5i-BYZnGFdQ9JAHRvYZBs3orzMd0LHE9KTgQyZPsdgStB_3Ls07gYRuTVMFxVOH77X1XCkTlDcdxjrhlywxke0a5uE9-jP5WgFCnc-CzKxb4/s640/blogger-image--2122698359.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifuGOI-6IiO5ZMLBCqn0L_vh_IDhT8Oin5i-BYZnGFdQ9JAHRvYZBs3orzMd0LHE9KTgQyZPsdgStB_3Ls07gYRuTVMFxVOH77X1XCkTlDcdxjrhlywxke0a5uE9-jP5WgFCnc-CzKxb4/s640/blogger-image--2122698359.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>This time I ask you to please consider helping my friends from Pakistan to educate their children in their new home in Thailand. </div><div><br></div><div>They have been there several months but their children still don't have books nor any enrollment in school, due to lack of funds. </div><div><br></div><div>Their children (a son and a daughter) are actually in 7 and 8 grade, <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">so it has become too difficult to teach them by themselves at home. </span></div><div><br></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Their research has led them to find some low fee school (for 40,000 Thai baht) which translates to $1500 for each child and each Semester. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Needless to say, my dear friends Robert & Farah are very concerned about their responsibility for the education of their dear son and daughter. But they always helped many children in their country (Pakistan) and are trusting that the Lord will come through for them now. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">If you are able to help them, I am able to receive PayPal donations to my email juanyramirez@yahoo.com and transfer them to their location. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Thank you and may God bless you and yours abundantly and beyond your imagination!!</font></div><div><br></div>Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-67198842150850746472013-08-13T09:47:00.000-07:002013-08-13T11:32:13.018-07:00from Pakistan to ThailandPLEASE READ THIS COVER LETTER AND THE ATTACHED NEWSLETTER.<br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you and may God prosper your finances and lead you to support my dear sister Farah Imtiaz and her family. They need $1000 for the 4 visas ($250 each) to move to Thailand as soon as possible.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.59375px;">I (Juanita) have a way to send them money via Western Union online, and </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.59375px;">I can also receive your contributions on my PayPal account (with my email </span><a href="http://us-mg5.mail.yahoo.com/compose?to=juanyramirez@yahoo.com" style="background-color: white; color: black; line-height: 15.59375px; outline: none;" ymailto="mailto:juanyramirez@yahoo.com"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1376418270_2" style="line-height: 1.2em; outline: none;">juanyramirez@yahoo.com</span></a><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.59375px;">). </span></span><br />
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July 2013<br />
Dear Friends, Lovers of The LORD, Lovers of HIS People…<br />
I really don’t know how to do this, so I will just tell you: “I am praying and seeking support to move our ministry partners from Pakistan to Thailand and establish the first Ruach Center community ministry.”<br />
The RUACH Newsletter that accompanies this letter is a very brief synopsis of part of the wonderful, amazing journey that God has us travelling. The LORD has blessed and connected us with “those of like precious faith” 2 Peter 1:1. It is truly an honor for me to have Farah & Robert Imtiaz as friends and ministry partners.<br />
Robert is a gifted teacher of Math, English and Computer. He is an anointed Evangelist and effective preacher of GOD’s Word. Farah was a music teacher before she and Robert had children. She is a gifted vocalist, effective manager and powerfully anointed as a prophetic intercessor and used by GOD in healing.<br />
From October 24th to November 14th of 2012, Rev. Farah Imtiaz was part of our team for three (3) weeks of prophetic ministry in The Philippines. It was there that GOD revealed her gift of Healings; and it was there that GOD had me speak prophetically over her about the coming change of their ministry. I encourage you to look at the pictures from that time of ministry.<br />
The Website is: http://www.ruachmf.org<br />
The Facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/RuachMinistryFellowshiprmf<br />
The vision for the RUACH Centers is to be self-supporting community ministries. Each RUACH Center will have a worship center with men’s & women’s, youth & young adult ministries, outreach and counseling that are supported by community resource venues of coffee shops (with music), internet cafes (with content filters), and other services to draw-in and serve the community to build the relationship to share The Gospel of The Kingdom. As the needs develop, we will establish RUACH Regional Schools of The Spirit as discipleship training centers to equip local people for local ministry.<br />
Robert and Farah have been faithful and obedient to serve the LORD with excellence and integrity and have now completed their assignment in Pakistan. GOD has united our hearts and vision and given us the direction. We will establish self-supporting, self-propagating ministries and then teach others how to do the same. I ask that you pray and sow some seed into this soil. It is time for us to move forward.<br />
Thank you and GOD bless you for your prayerful consideration of this request.<br />
Please contact me if you have any questions.<br />
Rev. A H (Harry) Saunders<br />
Ruach Ministries & Fellowship<br />
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<br />Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-88180116753077876242013-05-08T13:41:00.001-07:002013-05-08T13:41:53.181-07:00Persecución-en-Pakistan-Persecution <br />
These are the most recent news from my dear christian friend Farah Imtiaz, her husband Evangelist Robert Imtiaz and their ministry to the orphan children of Lahore, Pakistan (www.rejoiceministry.webs.com):<br />
<br />
Estas son las noticias más recientes de mis queridos amigos Farah y su esposo, el Evangelista Robert Imtiaz, quienes tienen un ministerio cristiano de ayuda a los niños huerfanos de Lahore, Pakistán (www.rejoiceministry.webs.com):<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">"We have daily bomb blast In all cities "Tenemos bombas explotando en todas las ciudades diariamente</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">and near to orphanage center y cerca del Orfanatorio</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All window glass Broken Han roto todas las ventanas de cristal</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And children injured Y han herido a los niños</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Thank God they are all ok Gracias a Dios que están bien</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">But they need Medicine and doctors Pero necesitan medicinas y doctores</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I should call doctor to come to the center Yo deberia llamar a un doctor para que venga al centro</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">where the Children are living donde los niños residen</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Please help them if you can." </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Por favor ayudelos si usted puede."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Farah, via Facebook May 7, 2013</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Pictures are from better days in March 2013 Las fotos son de mejores días, en marzo 2013.</span><br />
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IMPORTANTE: Hay tres formas en que usted puede ayudar:<br />
There are three ways you can help:<br />
<br />
1) PayPal - a mi correo electronico juanyramirez@yahoo.com<br />
<br />
PayPal to juanyramirez@yahoo.com<br />
<br />
2) Deposito Directo a la Cuenta del Banco Popular de Puerto Rico: #206-356245;<br />
a nombre de Juanita Ramirez Fernandez ("Santiago Uno Veintisiete").<br />
<br />
Direct Deposit to Account # #206-356245<br />
Account Name: Juanita Ramirez Fernandez (James 1:27)<br />
Bank Name: Banco Popular de Puerto Rico<br />
<br />
3) Envie cheque o giro postal a nombre de Juanita Ramirez Fernandez ("Santiago Uno Veintisiete")<br />
<br />
Send check or money order payable to Juanita Ramirez Fernandez ("James 1:27")<br />
<br />
Juanita Ramirez<br />
PO BOX 1810 - PMB 724<br />
Mayagüez PR 00681-1810<br />
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Por favor envíe la cantidad que usted pueda, ninguna ayuda es muy pequeña.<br />
Yo juntaré sus donativos y pagaré la cuota de Western Union para enviar el dinero a Pakistán.<br />
He estado utilizando este método en el Ministerio "Santiago Uno Veintisiete" para ayudar a los huérfanos y viudas necesitados en cualquier parte del mundo. No hay gastos administrativos en esta corporación sin fines de lucro, registrada en el Departamento de Estado de Puerto Rico con el Número 311898, excepto por las cuotas de Western Union, así que el dinero va a donde lo necesitan.<br />
Gracias y que Dios le recompense con grandes bendiciones.<br />
<br />
Please send any amount you can. No amount is too small.<br />
I will put your donations together and pay the Western Union online fee to send the money to Pakistan.<br />
I've been using this method with "James 1:27" (a ministry to help orphans & widows of the world).<br />
There are no administrative expenses in this non-for-profit corporation (PR Dept. of State Registration No: 311898), except for the Western Union transfer fees; so all the money goes to where it's needed.<br />
Thank you and God bless you mightily in return.<br />
<br />
<br />
Santiago 1:27 - Nueva Versión Internacional (NVI)<br />
“La religión pura y sin mancha delante de Dios nuestro Padre es ésta: atender a los huérfanos y a las viudas en sus aflicciones, y conservarse limpio de la corrupción del mundo.”<br />
<br />
James 1:27 - New International Version (NIV)<br />
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”<br />
Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-18578571630735079882013-01-23T13:37:00.006-08:002013-01-23T13:37:34.030-08:00Santiago Uno Veintisiete (James 1:27)Santiago 1:27 Nueva Versión Internacional (NVI)
"La religión pura y sin mancha delante de Dios nuestro Padre es ésta: atender a los huérfanos y a las viudas en sus aflicciones, y conservarse limpio de la corrupción del mundo."<br />
<br />
James 1:27 (New International Version)
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-3576351188230735482011-02-21T11:32:00.000-08:002011-02-21T12:39:00.822-08:00My christian friend from Lahore, Pakistan<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg34_hcQfxE2zy78n2IDapbNxZpD58ob0uANC8XM0ntnlSmcEtuYBIrGlYq3Bdh9UTavGmcL5-9j8Szkooo7gVT6StMYPE37sAsaqJnjBkE7h5pE5eUbPaPNgCffCwq0l7XwavAx3yJNng/s1600/PAKISTAN+DEC2010.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg34_hcQfxE2zy78n2IDapbNxZpD58ob0uANC8XM0ntnlSmcEtuYBIrGlYq3Bdh9UTavGmcL5-9j8Szkooo7gVT6StMYPE37sAsaqJnjBkE7h5pE5eUbPaPNgCffCwq0l7XwavAx3yJNng/s320/PAKISTAN+DEC2010.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576240748795215170" /></a><br />Those who know me, already know that I love missions. My experience in the field has been limited (the Lord forgiving me, since He's in control) but I seemed to have thought that I would be 'going to far away places' instead of 'just' Dominican Republic, Yucatan and in my own country.. lately it seems that missions means my own house.. and with the Lord's help I hope to bring Him glory in this too !!<br />But thank God for facebook, yes, because last year, when I could travel the least due to my husband's battle with esophageal cancer, I was able to help a friend in Pakistan that I found through a mutual facebook friend. Her name is Farah Imtiaz and her husband is the Rev. Robert Imtiaz, an evangelist in the city of Lahore, near the frontier with India. (Farah is in the attached picture, standing on the left.) They enjoy certain freedom of worship and evangelism through years of experience and being established by their christian parents in this muslim country. Farah leads worship and teaches the children at their church. They have a beautiful web page that is regularly updated with pictures and you can see it at www.rejoiceministry.webs.com<br />The missions ministry of my church here in Puerto Rico matched a personal donation last December that we sent through 'Western Union' to their address in Pakistan:<br /><br />Farah Imtiaz<br />Rejoice Ministry of Pakistan<br />32-S-63, Main Road Bahar, Colony Kot, <br />Lakhpat Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan.<br />Postal Code: 54600.<br />Phone Land Line: +92-42-35943954<br />Mobile Phone: +92-333-4404669 <br /><br />Farah bought new clothes and shoes for the needy children and this is part of what she wrote to me in facebook:<br /><br />Farah Imtiaz December 28, 2010 at 10:53am Report<br />Thanks my dear Juanita for replying me, I was so glad and blessed when I distributed your sent love gifts to children. Hope your husband is recovering by the grace of Lord. We wish both of you a very prosperous cheerful and healthy wealthy year 2011. I pray to God that this friend ship may last forever.<br /><br />Then she wrote again with a need that we haven't been able to address:<br />DEC 28, 2010<br />I want to share some thing important about one widow with three kids she is very poor lady and living alone in a rented house. She has no job, Her children have no clothes no schooling and no food, every month they knock the door of others to meet their needs. This family suffering badly they often come to me and ask for help I do what ever I can. I am sending you the picture of this deserving family (attached).<br />Being a developing country and bad economic conditions here its very hard for poor families to manage their livelihood. We come across such families and could not resolve there pathetic conditions alone. <br />I know you are still busy with the care of your husband at home. I just want if you find some spare time please look for such donors who can willfully and personally support the widow family and orphans at monthly bases, Their little contribution can light up the stove of poor family.<br />I feel in spirit that God is using you with us in this mission to help others. If there is any Organization who help the orphans and widows, is in your knowledge please let us know and about us let them know.<br />You are always in our prayers <br />May God bless you with long life and peace and happiness<br />Love you soooo much <br />Farah Imtiaz. <br /><br />Soooo, there it is! (you can share this blog as you feel led to) I am sharing this and asking if there is any way you can help: for example $20 a month, donated by a different person each month, or a one time gift of whatever amount the Lord puts in your heart, or... the support of a missions group from a church, etc. I know the blessing will be great for this widow and her three beautiful children, but I also know that it will be greater for those who are able to help.<br />My first attempt was posting this need to a christian ladies network in Spanish, but it was not approved by the web page rules. So I thought of this blog that I created a few years ago when everybody in our family decided to become bloggers and I have mostly used it to re-post counseling articles which is another ministry I love.<br />I am trying this in English now... and let's see what happens.<br />God bless you all,<br />JuanitaJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-60204943180702615422010-12-03T06:34:00.000-08:002010-12-03T06:36:09.199-08:00Stuck in Survival Mode?"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2010), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"<br /><br />Stuck in Survival Mode?<br />Managing stressful moods attached to money<br /><br />By Dwight Bain<br /><br />When you are one paycheck away from financial disaster it doesn’t take much to trip and fall over into the abyss of despair. News of foreclosures, downsizing and soaring bankruptcy levels only make it worse for terrified and stressed out families who often feel stuck in what I call “Survival Mode”.<br /><br />When a family feels stuck in the survival mode they worry about everything. Stress comes from every side; getting enough groceries or gasoline can be a struggle, trying to figure out how to get through the challenges of making rent, trying to find enough money to turn around and pay down their growing debts. A roof over their head is one of the biggest factors because often they are forced to move from the home they have lived in for years over to more affordable temporary housing. <br /><br />They have to go through major adjustments because of reduced financial resources which ripple over into areas you might not think of like family members who avoid going to the doctor when they are sick because there isn’t enough money for medical care or prescriptions. Vacations are replaced by ‘stay-cations’ because the concept of disposable income for the purpose of casual entertainment is long forgotten when a family is stuck in survival mode. College and retirement are also forgotten concepts because they struggle to just get through the day. <br /><br /><br />Destroying more than credit scores <br /><br />During these tough economic times we have seen financial pressure destroy more than money and credit scores. Marriages breaking up, workplace violence, aggression toward banks, the IRS or financial institutions, a spike in suicide, homicide, or familicide, along with a rise in addictive behaviors, (gambling/porn), an increase in alcoholism and prescription drug addiction. Face it, many people are caught up in a tangled web of intense emotions and it’s caused by fear way more than by finances.<br /><br />There is an old saying on college campuses, “no mon – no fun” or put another way, when the cash runs out, the party is over. This mindset isn’t just true for college students, because there are millions of families facing financial distress who are feeling that their lifestyle is over because they are stuck in the survival mode of daily life. For these families there is no fun while waiting for a financial lifeline to be thrown their way before they drown in debt. So how can families facing incredible financial pressure break out of the survival mode?<br /><br /><br />Survival is more than it seems<br /><br />First understand that SURVIVAL is not just a physical concept, (like food/water/shelter), it is also a psychological one driven by deep emotional needs to feel safe and in control on one’s surroundings. When a person feels intense financial distress they can become irrational and full of desperation, leading to desperate decisions which only makes their stressful situation worse. <br /><br />Here’s what Joseph LeDoux, a neuroscientist at New York University said about how the brain functions in high stress situations during a recession. “Survival depends on the ability of an organism to respond to threat or reward and predict the circumstances under which they are likely to occur. The emotional brain is highly attuned to signs of potential danger.” Since survival is more than the basics it’s important to take aggressive action to meet both the physical and psychological needs within a family. <br /><br />How can a family break out of being stuck in Survival Mode? <br /><br />First they have to identify the facts of their situation, and then balance their feelings against the facts. Let me explain how it works.<br /><br />Identify your FINANCIAL status then identify your FEELING status<br />For an honest awareness of your actual status, (FACTS)<br /><br />When considering your financial situation, consider both your actual financial level and then the actual circumstances of your lifestyle. I suggest considering this on 3 different levels- Survival, Stability and Security. This way you will be able to cross reference between your finances and feelings to know how to accurately respond. <br /><br />(Circle any of these lifestyle factors that apply to your current situation to gain a realistic picture of your overall situation)<br /><br />SURVIVAL LEVEL, (Basic)<br /><br />Financial functioning with just the basics of food, clean water, shelter, clothing, utilities, housing, safe place to sleep, proper hygiene products, public education, public transportation, public assistance, community health care, banking through money order or cash advance, no savings, no emergency fund, no cable television, no vacations or entertainment choices, no health insurance, no life insurance, no retirement, basic phone/911 service, significant debt with likely poor credit score or tax problems, minimal wardrobe with few choices of clothes and shoes, used furniture, used appliances and used cars are the norm.<br /><br />STABILITY LEVEL, (Building)<br /><br />Financial flexibility with access to multiple professional services, owns home, cable television, high-speed internet, occasional vacations, occasional travel, moderate holidays, prescription medicine, dental care, optical care, dependable/safe car, gasoline, car insurance, multiple cars, health insurance, professional CPA /accounting services, lawn care, dry-cleaners, regular car maintenance, new furniture, new appliances, new clothes/shoes, new technology, access to home repair services, private education for parents and kids, home alarm systems, smart cell phones, multiple phone lines, (cell phone, land phone, fax, or home based toll-free), access to storage units to maintain their growing possessions, access to multiple entertainment experiences (professional sporting events, live music concerts, theme parks), occasional dining out, modern wardrobe with many clothing and shoe choices, professional hair-cuts, access to participate in team sports, basic retirement plan in place, health club membership, savings accounts, checking accounts, regular vet care for pets, regular medical care for family members, fully funded 6 month emergency fund, access to college and continuing education, plus all of the categories from the Survival level.<br /><br />SECURITY LEVEL, (Blessed)<br /><br />Financial freedom as evidenced by access to many choices and options, multiple new cars, fully funded retirement, fully funded IRA, extensive stock portfolio, PPO health insurance, frequent travel, regular vacations, extensive holidays, golf/tennis country club memberships, recreation vehicles, (motor coaches, boats, motorcycles, ultra-lights, wave-runners, 4 wheelers, planes), multiple homes or rental properties in real estate portfolio, vacation homes, personal tailors, personal assistants, exclusive private education, legacy protected through extensive estate planning and funded insurance or financial trusts, access to frequent dining and entertainment experiences, (at the highest level this would include attending major events like the Super Bowl, Olympics, World Cup, major concerts, going backstage at Broadway plays) plus all of the categories from the Stability level.<br /><br /><br />Life is like the stock market<br /><br />I believe people flow through these 3 stages throughout life on a regular basis because no one is perfectly financially secure all of the time. Learn to view them more like a stock market report that goes up one day and down the next. It changes many times based on the circumstances on any given day and a wise investor knows not to panic but to trust the process. Life goes up and down, in fact Jesus taught that life would get tough but that we would never be alone in the process if we had faith, “In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I overcame the world.” (John 16:33) <br /><br />Life flows- it doesn’t stay fixed at one particular level all the time. Since it ebbs and flows a healthy family has to learn how to flow with it between these three levels so that their mood can stay healthy and balanced no matter which level they may be on during a given day. <br /><br />I’ve met people who were incredibly financially secure when you considered their portfolio on paper, yet who didn’t feel emotionally secure at all. Finances and feelings often don’t match and when they don’t people can quickly turn to panic. Listen to what author Orison Swett Marden said about this, “Our destiny changes with our thoughts; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thoughts correspond with our desires.” Literally what we believe about money will affect our moods. <br /><br />When a family feel stuck in survival mode they frequently don’t believe they can change because they feel trapped in a downward debt spiral which could end up in bankruptcy, homelessness and complete financial ruin if all of their resources are depleted. Yet this disaster mindset often isn’t based in the reality of what is happening that day, but in the anxiety about the worst case scenario unfolding in the future. It is a completely one-sided point of view that only considers the worst that could happen without considering that anything good could happen to offset the bad.<br /><br /><br />Moving from Panic to Peace<br /><br />To break out of the survival mode a family has to break out of being focused on the financial pressure, which only brings panic; to turn and focus on faith in a better day, which brings peace. <br /><br />Often these fearful emotions aren’t shared equally with the whole family, because the entire emotional load is frequently carried by only one spouse or parent who hides it from their partner and the rest of the family. The pressure often can become unbearable on this person, leading to feelings of failure, shame or embarrassment along with stress related disorders or depression which takes a complicated situation and makes it much worse for them and for the rest of their family. <br /><br />God never designed for one person to carry the whole load of a family- no one is that strong. Rather, we need to share the burdens with the entire family so that one person doesn’t get burned out trying to carry the entire load alone. (Remember the classic television show “the Walton’s” about a depression era family who always pulled together and got stronger when facing financial challenges… that’s a lot different than many families today who seem pull apart from stress when facing financial pressure). <br /><br />Another factor to consider is that every person reading this is a member of 1 of the 4 financial levels represented in the US. Once you identify your financial level, (more of the facts), then you can move forward to tackle your fears and frustrations, (the feelings), in a realistic way. <br /><br />Average income levels in the United States:<br /><br />___ Wealthy -$259,706 & above<br /><br />___ Upper middle - $74,700 to 259,706<br /><br />___ Working - $46,700 to 74,700<br /><br />___ Poor - $20,200 to 46,700<br /><br />These income levels came from a 5 year project conducted by researchers at Harvard College & Duke University and later published in a book called "Building a Better America.” They found out more than just income because they asked a lot of questions about what that income level actually represented in terms of lifestyle. <br /><br />So what does this mean to a family feeling financially pressured? Let’s go back to the FACTS to find out. If a family is in the middle to upper income range with access to retirement funds or lines of credit and someone in the family lose a job or has a car in need of a major repair it’s not a crisis, it’s an inconvenience. <br /><br />However, if a person from the working class has the need for a major car repair and they miss even 1 paycheck they could be facing a major crisis because there simply are not funds or lines of credit to solve the problem. So they have to park the car and save to repair the car another day. <br /><br />It would seem that a wealthy person would always feel financially secure, but that’s not the case based on the number of people from upper income neighborhoods who have resorted to self-destructive behavior during recent years as the great recession slowed our nation’s economy to a grinding halt. Oddly enough many people with great financial reserves and very comfortable lifestyles reacted in a panic mode that would have suggested they were about to become homeless, when in fact they were only having to shift to a different level of lifestyle because of a change in finances. <br /><br /><br />Money affects Mood <br /><br />You have likely seen when someone feels financially confident how they spend more than they should and ignore the reality of their total financial situation especially if they don’t live on a budget. The same holds true when someone feels financially insecure and shifts into panic mode making things seem worse than they really are. <br /><br />How to stay emotionally secure when life has panic, problems, nuisances and crisis events? Remember that crisis reveals what you believe about yourself and your situation. If a financial setback occurs it can create an opportunity for radical change which can be for the good if a family learns to pull through it together, instead of pulling each other apart. <br /><br />A great example of this is author and financial coach Dave Ramsey, who faced a complete financial meltdown with the strength of his faith and family. Listening to his story of how his family ate beans and rice for a few years while rebuilding financial stability is inspirational to anyone facing tough financial circumstances. (Learn more about how this family pulled together during some really tough financial times at www.DaveRamsey.com) <br /><br />Learning to balance your actual finances, (income level) with your feelings, (emotional level) will guide you toward getting out of the mindset of believing your life is over because of struggling with cash-flow. <br /><br /><br />They aren’t going to Eat You<br /><br />No one is going to kill you if you can’t pay all of your bills on time, but self-destructive behavior can ruin everything. Creditors aren’t allowed by law to harass you and my hope is that you and your family will learn to see the many options you have when facing a financially tough time and not fall apart in the process. Consider the words of author Dale Carnegie who said, “Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?”<br /><br />People stuck in survival mode can’t see the long view that things usually do turn out better in time, so I recommend they focus on a 24/7 model of coping in tough times. Basically you think about what you need to focus on for the next 24 hours over the next 7 days and don’t worry about things outside of that time frame. Yes, I know this will fly in the face of what Forbes magazine tells you to do about your long term retirement planning, but in a financial crisis you don’t have enough emotional energy to fight battles today while worrying about twenty years from now. <br /><br /><br />Worst of Times can often lead to the Best of Times<br /><br />Remember that tough financial times can actually help a family identify their priorities a lot faster than any other time and these challenges can lead to remarkable personal development. For instance consider both sides of this situation to gain perspective. When facing financial pressure do you and your family focus on: <br /><br />Cash Flow or Character?<br /><br />Net Worth or Self-worth?<br /><br />Consumerism or Contentment?<br /><br />Pity/Panic or Peace?<br /><br />Feeling insecure or Secure in faith?<br /><br />Fearful or “Faith-full?”<br /><br />Self-provision or God provision?<br /><br />Workaholism or Worship?<br /><br />Escape reality or Facing reality?<br /><br />Financial failure or Financial student?<br /><br />Greedy/Self focus or Generous/Serve focus?<br /><br />As you can see there are many ways to look at a financial tough time, but it’s been my experience that a wise person learns to see beyond dollars to develop the real issues of their character and soul. Robert Schuller said it well, “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” To break out of financial survival mode you have to know what you believe and then let the pressure push you deeper in those beliefs to become who you were meant to become. The toughest of times can actually become the best of times when you and your family develop these core values.<br /><br /><br />Here are the rapid ways to break out of Survival mode:<br /><br />1. Share Burdens. You are not in this alone and there are others struggling with the same issues. Reach out and talk through the financial pressure because it will take a ton of pressure off and prevent emotional burnout.<br /><br />2. Supports. Find support through your church, from extended family, from financial support groups in your community and basically any other place you can find. The more pressure on you, the more you need supports around you to manage that pressure.<br /><br />3. Skills to cope. Journaling is essential to get out of the survival mode. Writing out your fears and frustrations will reduce pressure. Listen to positive music, take a yoga class, practice meditation, read biographies of people who made it through tough times, exercise and especially stay disciplined about getting enough sleep because exhausted people become emotionally frazzled faster. Learn to do all you can for the day and then go to bed and rest up to face another day with God’s help.<br /><br />4. Systems. Develop routines for your family to manage tough times. This could be as simple as developing a grocery list to having family meetings about the home budget or setting a pattern to follow when facing unexpected medical expenses or costly repairs. <br /><br />5. Strategy. One of my favorite sayings during tough times is “You always have options,” because it’s true. You can always call your creditors, you can call a hotline, you can sit in the floor and cry to release pressure or you can go out and look for a part time job for extra income. To develop strategies is to get a legal pad out and aggressively list every option. You will be surprised at how many strategies there are in tough situations when you can creatively list them out. And the more options you see, the more confidence you will feel. <br /><br />6. Scripture. Study biblical principles that protect your mood, (here are some of my favorite sections of scripture which I repeated hour by hour through some of the toughest times of my life to stay focused and not afraid - “God will keep you in perfect peace when you keep your thoughts focused on Him.” “Cast all your anxiety on God because he cares for you.” “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” “Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed because I am your God.”) I’m not sure what your favorite verses are, but memorizing short sections to meditate on continually throughout the day will give you new spiritual strength. (Side note- this strategy isn’t about a particular religious view, it’s about developing deeper faith. Since it’s impossible to get through tough times without faith it’s essential to know what you believe if you are going to break out of the survival mode)<br /><br /><br />Never Alone on the Journey<br /><br />Don’t forget, no matter which financial level you are at you are not alone. Millions of families are feeling stuck in survival mode and they are making it, and you can too. You are not a failure if you are facing tough financial circumstances, but you do have to take bold action to make some positive changes in your life. However if you wait and wait you can experience more pain and embarrassment. Better to be proactive to move from the survival mode over to stability by making calls and asking for help. <br /><br />Facing tough times isn’t just limited to this generation because thousands of years ago the Apostle Paul wrote Timothy these words of wisdom to use in building deeper faith when facing financial pressure.<br /><br />“A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough. Lust for money brings trouble and nothing but trouble. Going down that path, some lose their footing in the faith completely and live to regret it bitterly ever after. But you, Timothy, man of God: Run for your life from all this. Pursue a righteous life—a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy. Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses. Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life. (1 Timothy 6:6-19 in the Message)<br /><br /><br />Getting Past the Pride<br /><br />False pride prevents a lot of people from asking for help, which is odd since many people who literally would give you the shirt off their back if you were struggling financially are embarrassed to reach out and ask for help from others. Reverse pride is still a major roadblock for families, and especially when they may have been at a very stable or secure level in the past and now are stuck in survival mode. <br /><br />My challenge to people stuck by false pride is to get over it and reach out to some of the wonderful agencies and organizations designed to help in situations just like the one you may be facing. Pharmacies have discount programs, doctors have payment plans and everyone will work with you if you reach out honestly get past your pride to explain your situation. <br /><br />A practical bottom line to begin this process of moving from financial survival mode to a more stable place is to aggressively work together to save money in key areas like groceries, cell phones and medicine. Here are some links to get you started in your search to gain financial stability by accessing the many values available online. <br /><br /><br />Big Savings on grocery products<br /><br />www.couponmom.com <br />www.couponmountain-com<br />www.MySavings.com <br />www.retailmenot.com<br />www.Savings.com <br />www.CoolSavings.com<br />www.couponsurfer.com <br />www.printablecouponspot.com<br />www.smartsource. com <br />www.redplum.com<br /><br /><br />Savings on prescriptions<br /><br />http://www.internetdrugcoupons.com/ http://www.prescriptiondrugs.com/<br />http://www.yourrxdiscounts.com/ http://www.nextag.com/ http://www.reduceprescriptioncosts.com/ http://www.patientassistance.com/<br />http://www.onlinepharmacycoupons.com/ <br />http://www.edrugsearch.com<br />http://www.patientassistance.com/getcard.html <br /><br />(& accessing sites like www.Groupon.com for discount family entertainment)<br /><br /><br />These coupons are free and available to anyone who wants to take the time to make a grocery list, (to prevent over buying) and then map out and print coupons for those items. It may not sound like much of a savings, but the average family can pocket another $20-50 per week, ($1000 to $2500 per year) by getting creative with coupons. Every dollar saved takes pressure off of a family which moves them from the survival mode over to feeling stable. When families work together to manage financial pressure they can feel financial peace and the best part is that they did it together. <br /><br />This way they are creating positive memories of making it through tough financial times as a family who pulled together instead of terrible times of watching one or both parents self-destruct and pull each other apart by spending too much time stuck in the survival mode. There is a better way… find it and deepen your faith and build a stronger family in the process.<br /><br />------<br />About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.<br />Posted by The LifeWorks Team at 6:39 PMJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-17668262572058263582010-06-04T06:19:00.000-07:002010-06-04T06:21:42.808-07:00How to 'Freak Yourself Out'How to 'Freak Yourself Out'<br />A formula to Steal Motivation<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2010), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"<br /><br /><br />By Dwight Bain, Certified Life Coach & Nationally Certified Counselor<br /><br />Have you ever watched someone ‘freak themselves out?’ If you aren’t familiar with this expression, (which I learned from our teenagers), it means to be so totally stressed you can’t think or function normally. So, back to understanding why people ‘freak out’ since this self-destructive process steals motivation and makes life miserable. Why would people do things to make their life seem worse? Even more importantly, are you doing things that steal your energy and rob you of the motivation? Let’s find out fast if you are living the ‘freaked out’ formula so you can enjoy today, instead of just enduring it. <br /><br />The ‘Freak Yourself Out’ Formula<br /><br />First understand there really is a process to create a ‘freaked out’ experience where life goes from bad to worse. It follows a series of predictable steps. ‘Freaked out’ people have conditioned themselves to follow a pattern of behavior that makes every day chaotic and every situation a catastrophe. <br /><br />They never allow themselves to relax and count blessings because their total focus is on their problems. They don’t actually have good days, just less miserable ones where nothing goes right because they are always looking for the worst possible scenario. It’s like the old saying, “Cheer up- things could get worse. So I cheered up and sure enough, things got worse.” <br /><br />If the only things you are searching for are more problems, then you can be sure that you will find more than enough to stay stressed out and afraid. Here are the basics of the ‘freak yourself out’ formula and remember the more elements of the formula you have in place, the worse you will feel- guaranteed. <br /><br />Spiritual Strategies to create Significant Emptiness- <br /><br />1) Ignore God and anything that would inspire you to see beyond yourself. No Bible reading, no prayer, no journaling or meditation about the blessings of your life, which would stimulate gratitude. Avoid any type of function that takes you out of your own world or that might make you aware of the greater needs in the rest of the world. Just focus on yourself and ignore everyone else.<br /><br />2) Skip going to any church or concert where you might find inspiration, and make sure to skip any activity that places you around positive or prayerful people. This includes any form of shared music or ministry, including helping the homeless or reaching out to other families who may be facing tough times. As long as you stay focused on yourself and your problems you can feel empty, afraid and alone. <br /><br />Media Messages to steal Motivation<br /><br />1) Focus on the evening news and current events, especially big tragedies you can’t do anything about. This approach is guaranteed to discourage you with negative media messages which often are full of depressing images that discourage you with a continual flood of bad news. <br /><br />2) Make Hollywood celebrities your main focus, especially if they have multi-million dollar lifestyles that you could never hope to obtain. Keep up with the drama of every tiny detail of their lives; in fact spend more time studying what is happening in the lives of famous strangers than you do in studying what is happening in your own life or anyone in your family. <br /><br />Physical Steps to Feel Miserable<br /><br />1) Ignore your own health. You can do this faster by neglecting to get enough sleep. Push your body to the limits and never sit still to take quiet times to just sit and rest. Follow the rule that ‘burning out is better than rusting out.’ (Forgetting that either way- you are just out)<br /><br />2) Stay idle. Sit still and watch TV or the Internet; but never exercise or move around. In fact, stay inside most of the time and never allow yourself to see sunshine or feel the wind on your face. Nature is to be considered evil because being outside often reminds people of the beauty of creation. Use amusing entertainment to replace all forms of physical fitness. <br /><br />3) Eat anything you want, especially large portions of comfort foods followed by soda with lots of sugar and caffeine. Remember the rule - the worse the food is for you, the worse you will feel. Avoid anything healthy or nutritious if you want to always feel freaked out. <br /><br />Emotional and Financial Methods to Ruin your Day <br /><br />1) Keep all your fears inside and never take time to release pressure in healthy ways. No journaling, no mapping out insecurities on paper to prevent feeling panic. And make sure to never set goals that would give you a positive point of view in facing the future. Stuff your stress to make the day worse. <br /><br />2) Don’t ever budget or create a realistic financial plan – in fact, just let your financial obligations pile up until you feel like you are drowning in debt and financial fears. Not having any idea where you stand financially is sure to make you feel worse. <br /><br />3) Never tell anyone what keeps you up at night, in fact, avoid any coach, counselor, pastor, family member co-worker or friend who might be a safe person who could help you process your fears to find greater strength. Go it alone to improve your chances of feeling miserable. <br /><br /><br />How do successful people ‘snap out of it’ to find new energy? <br />Have you ever felt beat up by life? Can you relate to feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, empty, lonely, unloved, stressed, depressed or afraid? Then you have likely followed the ‘freaked out formula’; but don’t feel bad because I’ve been freaked out before too.<br /><br />Some of my worst days were spent with a dark cloud of moodiness overhead that I made worse by following the formula. I suspect the same is true for you because everyone feels overwhelmed at times and everyone has been too stressed to face the day.<br />Successful people have learned to identify the ‘freak out’ formula so they can make rapid adjustments to feel better fast. The real problem is when you feel so exhausted and beat up by life that tomorrow looks worse than yesterday. So what about you -do you wake up refreshed to face a new day with positive energy or do you live ‘freaked out’ day after day? <br /><br />The Secret to Positive Energy is E-MOTION<br /><br />The bottom line secret to feeling stronger to break out of the ‘freaked out’ formula is to remember that emotion really could be defined as E-MOTION. This is because when you drift through life with no positive movement, you always feel worse. When you learn to get up and get moving you always feel better and stronger.<br /><br />Try this simple exercise sometime. Start marching in place and repeat three times, ‘I feel Good’. I know it sounds silly, but if you look in a mirror while marching and swinging your arms in rhythm you can’t help but smile. Just creating movement and motion will improve your mood and fire up your motivation. In other words, you have a lot more control of your mood and motivation than you ever thought possible.<br /><br />Moving from being ‘Freaked Out’ to Feeling Good Again <br /><br />Successful people take positive action to break the ‘freak out’ formula. Everyone faces challenges and tough days but some face them with strength by doing the opposite of the formula listed above. I’ve tried it both ways, and in fact ruined some days because of being so moody. Thankfully there were people around me who could say, ‘snap out of it’, ‘get on track’, ‘you were meant for more than this.’ <br /><br />Do you have someone who comes alongside to challenge you with positive steps to break the ‘freak out’ formula? On your worst days do you go it alone, or allow safe people to come close and help? If you don’t have those people know that my purpose in life is to add value to others, so until you believe in you, I’ll believe in you. God placed you on this planet for greater things than you could ever imagine! <br /><br />Please let today be the day you break the ‘freak out’ formula to really embrace feeling good. No matter what you are facing today, you will face it better by doing the opposite of the formula listed above so you can develop spiritual, emotional, financial and physical strength. You really do have the power to change and make today better. Choose to break the formula and when you do, tell others what you learned so they can break out of the ‘freak out’ formula too. <br />====================<br />About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-18511284793177297602010-05-07T07:51:00.000-07:002010-05-07T07:54:24.109-07:004 key factors to guide unmotivated students toward academic successBy Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2010), To subscribe to this valuable weekly resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.<br /><br /><br />Have you ever wondered why so many students get close to the ‘finish line’ of a semester or even graduation and then fail to finish? Parents, teachers, guidance counselors and tutors can be cheering for a student to push forward to finish strong and sometimes they just sit down and give up. You’ve probably seen it. A bright young person starts out with promise and potential and then halfway through a semester they literally run out of gas and ‘check out’ as it’s called because they completely lose the motivation to finish school.<br /><br />Academic Atomic Bombs<br />When a student ‘checks out’ it isn’t because they don’t know what to do. You can tell them continually that they should be doing their homework, turning in class work, completing reports and playing by the rules to get good grades and move forward with their academic career. Yet they won’t do it. You can beg, you can plead, but basically they stop doing the right thing to oftentimes doing nothing. Since schools reward behavior that is measurable, it’s like creating an academic atomic bomb that literally ‘blows up’ their grades which can wreck a future transcript.<br /><br />You may be thinking that this is an overreaction, yet many colleges and even prep schools look first at the transcript before they look at the person. If you have ignored, neglected or abused your grades it will hurt your academic future. Yes, I know, schools and universities should look at the person, they should look at character traits or consider someone who is nice or likable, but the fact of the matter is they look at academic performance by looking at grades. If someone ‘checks out’ and gives up on trying to finish strong it will cost them, and if you are the parent or guardian paying for their future education, it will cost you too.<br /><br />Fear of Success<br />Failure to Finish isn’t limited to students in school. It can show up in many different areas of life. People who know they should send a thank you note for a kindness given and then procrastinate forever and never get around to it. Creative types with a good idea they believe would help others and maybe make a lot of money, but they just can’t quite get the paperwork filled out to file a patent; then next thing you know they see their idea on an aisle at Wal-Mart and kick themselves for not following up.<br /><br />I wrote about this huge gap in people knowing what to do, but then never doing it in my book, ‘Destination Success’. Giving up before a big finish is actually driven by the fear of success because it’s not about getting the right information, the right facts, the necessary details. Nope, usually it’s more about the motivation to do what you know you should do. The fact that students fail to finish is in some ways representative of the adult world. Many people don’t do what they know they should do, and sadly many people suffer the consequences of missing out on a lot of joy in life because of it.<br /><br />Missing the Marathon<br />If you have ever participated in a marathon you know what I’m talking about. I saw it during a Disney event my little sister Trish talked me into running. We prepared for months and she coached every step of the way on how to finish strong, yet only a few miles into the race there were literally thousands of people in front of us walking. Yes, I said walking! They missed the concept of 26.2, or at least my understanding of what the Greeks had in mind when they created a distance run that only counted if you finished! They missed the marathon concept, just like students miss the very basic idea that no matter how much fun, or misery they may experience in school- it only counts if you finish the race!<br /><br />So why do so many give up within weeks of the ‘finish line’ at the end of a semester? Here are four main reasons.<br /><br />1) Fearful<br />They are afraid about the future, about what life in the ‘adult world’ will be like or afraid to grow up in general. It’s normal to feel afraid, yet someone who is overwhelmed with fears can often become indecisive and ‘zone out.’ Since running away from reality feels easier than facing it for some people they completely deny what’s happening to their grades and future. Some do this in a passive way and just slowly sink, while others try to avoid reality by using substances or media to escape. Yet there is no avoiding the end of a semester, and the end of academic dreams if you let fear overtake your future success.<br /><br />2) Friends<br />It’s true. Birds of a feather do flock together, and students who are unmotivated about finishing can find each other across a crowded room. Highly disciplined and super motivated students hang out together to challenge each other toward greater success, and the opposite is true about the undisciplined. Your son or daughter may begin to hang out with the wrong crowd to hide from facing their academic future. Sometimes it’s to irritate their parents, but more often than not it’s because they don’t fit in with the winners at the front of the race, so they just sit down and hang out with those who appear to not care about the educational race they are in… but if you look closely you will see the insecurity and doubt in their eyes.<br /><br />3) Frustrated<br />This group could include parents and teachers, but I’m mostly thinking about students who are trying, but it’s just not coming together for them. They want to finish strong, but lack the horsepower to really pull out in front of the crowd. These students are at great risk, because they will face a choice. Finish with mediocre results and try again next semester, or just check out to avoid feeling the pain of not performing to their potential. I’ve especially seen this with highly creative or bright students who partied or procrastinated until the last minute and then couldn’t pull out their grades. Their frustration often comes out as anger directed toward the closest person to them, usually a mom. It’s not fair, but it happens because they let the frustration take over, which blocks their ability to finish strong.<br /><br />4) Failing<br />Sadly this group is the easiest to spot because they checked out a long time ago. When a student has reached this level they are so unmotivated that they give up on even trying at the most basic of tasks so their grades become a ‘free fall’ down to zero. To totally and completely fail crushes confidence and for many the desire to try again; which leads many students to give up on school completely and just drop out.<br /><br /><br />Not finishing education makes sense to them at the time, but it costs serious dollars and cents over the course of a lifetime. Consider these numbers from the U.S. Census Bureau to see how expensive it is to give up on education.<br /><br /><br />Average Annual Salary <br />Masters degree $74,602 (or $2,984,080 over a lifetime of work)<br />Bachelors degree $51,206 (or $2,048240 over a lifetime of work)<br />High School degree $27,915 (or $1,116,600 over a lifetime of work)<br /><br /><br />Finding the energy to Finish<br /><br />So how do you motivate an unmotivated student? Well you start by dealing with your own frustration so you can think clearly about a strategic plan to guide your son or daughter toward the better life that education can bring. Here’s the key areas I use to find a way to inspire a young person to get back in the race and find the energy to finish strong.<br /><br />1) Insight<br />This often begins with the parent closest to the student because they already know so much about their personality, their character and their drives. The Bible has a verse that I pray every day, “If any many lacks wisdom let him ask God and it will be given to him.” (James 1 ). Insight is to ask God to reveal the special gifts and abilities that your student has, and no matter how far behind they may be they have some talents. It takes insight to see it and then it takes courage to stick with it to light the fire of desire in the heart of one who may have given up.<br /><br />2) Interests<br />One you know which gifts, talents, abilities or skills that you are looking for in a student, the next part is to help them see how those unique gifts could be transferred into something so interesting that they really want to show up and learn more. There is an old saying that the curious are never bored, which is true. When a student is inspired about pursuing something interesting to them they can lose all track of time because they are fascinated with the topic they are studying.<br /><br />3) Important<br />Once a student gets inspired to pursue the subjects that are interesting to them, the next element to add to stir up motivation is to discover what is important to them. What is valuable? What activities do they believe in? Everyone believes in something yet often haven’t taken time to explore to discover what causes or activities they are motivated to join.<br /><br />Here’s a comprehensive list to use to help your student find what is interesting or important to them. Review the categories with your son or daughter to find a logical place to begin getting motivated again.<br /><br />What is Interesting or Important to Motivate your Student?<br /><br />ACADEMICS<br />Academic Achievement Award, Accelerated Reader, Essay Award, French Honor Society, Geography Bee, Girl Scouts Bronze Award, Honor Roll, Junior National Society, National Jr. Honor Society, Perfect Attendance, Poetry, Reading, Reading Olympiads, Reflections, Writing Essay, Science Olympiads, Spanish National Honor Society, Spelling Bees<br /><br />ACHIEVEMENTS<br />F.C.C.L.A, Future Educators of America, Future Farmers of America, Future Problem Solvers, Geography Club, German Club, Girls Athletic Association, Girl Scouts, G.R.E.A.T. Program, History Club, International Club, Journalism Club, Junior Achievement, Junior Beta Club, Junio, Classical League, Key Club, L.O.G.O.S. Youth Program, Latin Club, Letterman Club, Math Club, Math Team, M.E.S.A., Mountain Biking Club, Model UN, Multi-Cultural Club, National Junior Beta Club, National FAA Organization, National Forensic League, Newspaper Club, Odyssey of the Mind, Outdoors Club, People to People Student Ambassador Program, Pep Club, Photography Club, P.R.I.D.E. Program, Quill & Scroll Society, Quiz Bowl, Robotics Club, Running Club, S.A.D.D., S.A.V.E., Science Club, Scrabble Club, Service Club, Sign Language Club, Ski Club, Spanish Club, Speech Team, Sports Club, Stars Club, Stock Market Club, Student Advisory Committee, Student Council Member, Student Government Assoc., Technology Club, Temple Youth Group, Varsity Club, Vocational Industrial Club, Winter guard, Yearbook Staff, Y-Club (YMCA), U.S. Achievement Academy, Youth Leadership Program<br /><br />ACTIVITIES<br />4-H Club, Academic Team, Acteens, Awana, Assisteens, Beta Club, Bible Club, Builders Club, Book Club, Boy Scouts, Boys & Girls Club, C.A.R.E. Program, Chess Club, Church Youth Group, Civil Air Patrol, Computer Club, Dance Club, Drama Club, Debate Team, D.E.C.A., English Club, Environmental Club, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Foreign Language Club, French Club, Future Business Leaders of America, Class Officer, Class Representative, Community Volunteer, Hospital Aid, Library Aide, Editor, Photographer, Reporter Office Aide, Peer Mediator, Peer Tutor, Red Cross Aide/Volunteer, Junior Engineering Technical Society, Safety Patrol, Special Olympics Volunteer, Student Ambassador, Teacher’s Aide, Yearbook Editor, Yearbook Photographer, Yearbook Reporter, Astronomy, Babysitting, Computers, Cooking, Making Models, Modeling, Pageantry, Painting, Photography, Playing Guitar, Playing Piano, Playing Violin, Playing Drums, Scrap booking, Sewing, Mystery Shopper, Singing, Traveling, Spending Time w/ Family & Friends, Video Games, Writing Stories, Writing, Poetry<br /><br />ARTS<br />Acting, Art, Arts & Crafts, Dancing, Drawing, Acapella Choir, Acrobatics, Art Club, Band, Chorus, Orchestra, Ballet, Baton Twirling, Band, Chamber Orchestra, Choir, Chorus, Church Choir, Church Dance Team, Church Drama Team, Church Musicals, Church Plays, Drum Major, Drum Majorette, Clogging, Color Guard, Community Theater, Dance Team, Drama, Drill Team, Flag Corps, Handbell Choir, Hip Hop Dance, Irish Step Dance, Jazz, Jazz Band, Jazz Dance, Marching Band, Modern Dance, Music, Orchestra, Praise Dance, Pep Band, School Choir, School Musicals, School Plays, Show Choir, Stage Crew, Step Team, Swing Chorus, Symphonic Band, Talent Shows, Tap Dance, Variety Shows,<br /><br />ATHLETICS<br />Archery, Badminton, Baseball, Basketball, Biking, Billiards, Boating, Bowling, Boxing, Camping, Canoeing, Cheerleading, Cross Country, Dirt Biking, Diving, Field Hockey, Fishing, Flag Football, Floor Hockey, Fencing, Football, Golf, Gymnastics, Pop Warner Score Keeper, Sports Reporter, Sports Manager, Presidential Physical Fitness Award, Gymnastics, Hiking, Horseback Riding, Hunting, Ice Hockey, Ice Skating, Karate, Kayaking, Lacrosse, Motocross, Paintball, Pom Pom Squad, Powder-Puff Football, Racquetball, Rock Climbing, Rollerblading, Roller Hockey, Roller Skating, Rugby, Running, Sailing, Scuba Diving, Skateboarding, Skating, Skeet Shooting, Snow Skiing, Skimboarding, Snowboarding, Snowmobiling, Soccer, Softball, Surfing, Swimming, Table Tennis, Black Belt/Tae Kwon Do, Tennis, Track, Track & Field, Tumbling, Volleyball, Wakeboarding, Water Skiing, Water Polo, Weightlifting, Woodworking, Wrestling, Yoga<br /><br />Now that you have generated the insight to map out the key areas that motivate your student you are ready for the final stage.<br /><br />4) Identity<br />When a student has figured out who they are, and what they enjoy doing, they are actually living out their purpose and having fun doing it! Perhaps the huge success of the Disney television movies, “High School Musical” is because it shows what most students would like their school experience to be. At this level a young person is totally excited about going to school because when they know why they are going it’s not hard to stay in the race. In fact, it makes it easy to move from a failure to finish to moving forward with a new dedication to finish strong!<br /><br />Bonus Scholarship Strategies<br />When a student gets motivated to be their best, you can log on to any of the following websites to begin the search for the extra educational income for them to move forward to a new level of academic success.<br /><br />"I Don't Want to Pay for College" www.cappex.com/scholarships<br />College Board www.collegeboard.com<br />College Net www.collegenet.com<br />FAFSA (Financial Aid) www.fafsa.ed.gov<br />Fast Aid www.fastaid.com<br />Fast Web www.fastweb.com<br />Financial Aid www.financialaid.com<br />FL Funding Publications www.floridafunding.com<br />Free Scholarship Search www.freschinfo.com/search-main.com<br />Go College www.gocollege.com<br />Petersons Educational Portal www.petersons.com<br />Scholarship www.scholarships.com<br />Valencia Foundation www.valencia.org<br />Wired Scholar www.wiredscholar.com/scholarships<br />FinAid www.finaid.org<br />NARFE-FEEA www.narfe.org<br />Holocaust Remembrance www.holocaust.hklaw.com<br />College Prowler www.collegeprowler.com/scholarship<br />Maryknoll Essay www.societymaryknoll.org<br />Ranger Battalions Ass. of WWII www.rangers-army.org<br />Flipnot Innovations www.flipnot.com<br />Brianstorm USA www.brainstormusa.com<br />CosmoGirl! www.cosmogirl.com/borntolead<br />Brickfish Scholarship www.brickfish.com<br />Navy League Foundation www.navyleague.org/scholarships<br />Horatio Alger Scholarship www.horatioalger.com<br />The Anne Ford Scholarship www.LD.org<br />Ronald McDonald House www.rmhc.org<br />Cappex Hardship Scholarship www.cappex.com/scholarships<br />American Fire Sprinkler www.afsascholarship.org<br />Into the Best, Inc/Free Will www.intothebest.com<br />Women Marine Association/ www.womenmarines.comJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-231419183916519442010-04-06T06:41:00.000-07:002010-04-06T07:16:53.113-07:00<strong>"Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian? Scorecard"</strong><br /><br />WOW!! I’m so excited to take part in this blog post project that "Stuff Christians Like" is conducting. The topic: “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian Scorecard”….<br /><br />Here’s my one clue:<br /><br />During rehearsal they mention that they are really into “doing things with excellence,” which is such a Christian phrase they might as well say they are "blessed to sing" = + 1 point <br /><br />To add up your score with over a 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit stuffchristianslike.net.Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-34869985169025212842009-10-23T12:07:00.000-07:002009-10-23T12:09:39.926-07:005 Strategies to Make Strong Decisions5 Strategies to Make Strong Decisions <br />By Dwight Bain, Certified Life Coach<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009), receive this valuable coaching and counseling resource by subscribing at www.LifeWorksGroup.org "<br /><br />One of my favorite sayings to share with people facing a major decision is "you always have options." Yet in challenging times people are often so frozen by fear from making a wrong decision that they don't make a decision at all and life passes them by. Think of how many events in life are complicated or missed completely because of the roadblock of being afraid to fail by making a decision and then making that decision work…<br /><br />Marriages that didn't happen because of a shy guy with cold feet<br /><br />Promotions that never occurred because of the fear of asking for it<br /><br />Scholarships left on a table somewhere because someone was afraid to fill out the paperwork<br /><br />Trips to exotic places that were always talked about but never taken because no one sat down to schedule it<br /><br />Relationships that failed because someone didn't decide to work on issues and quietly let things 'slip, slide away'<br /><br />Forgiveness that was never granted because someone never got past the fear of saying that they were sorry <br /><br />I've noticed that people will fit into one of the following levels when facing a major decision. Think about where you are in the process.<br /><br />FIVE LEVELS FOR MAJOR DECISIONS<br /><br />Level 1 - Go Numb and Do Nothing<br />This level is where an individual is so paralyzed by fear that they can't take action and may experience major signs or symptoms of distress. When someone feels numb inside, they often describe their life as being in a 'fog' and often crash in the process. This may be the most dangerous level of all.<br /><br />Level 2 - Passive Pleasing<br />This level is about pleasing others in a very non-assertive way. The people pleaser personality is passively trying to avoid a conflict, yet often their quietness of not dealing with issues is covering up an emotional explosion that can erupt at any time. This person looks quiet and pleasant on the outside, yet often is irritated and frustrated on the inside.<br /><br />Level 3 - Mediocrity in the Middle of the Road<br />When people are trying to be politically correct, they often will just sit in the middle of the road on an issue. Are they conservative or liberal? Do they see things as white or black? You never know because this person refuses to take a stand - often because they either don't care about the situation to have an opinion about it, or are afraid to say it. The risk of sitting in the middle of the road is that you will eventually be run over by a more direct personality who knows where they are going.<br /><br />Level 4 - Active and Assertive Expression<br />If you know what you believe and are able to express it, then you are in a situation of active and assertive expression. People know where you stand because you tell them, instead of trying to hint around for them to read your mind. This level may lead to some hurt feelings on occasion, but those are soon forgotten because positive action eventually leads to positive results.<br /><br />Level 5 - Energetic - Do It All with Enthusiasm<br />This level is a joy to watch develop in a person's life when facing a major decision. They KNOW that it's the right person to marry, or the right college to attend, or the best time to move on to a better career. There is such a degree of personal power in energetic decision makers that people just want to be around them to gain insight and strength to face the decisions they need to make in their own lives with more confidence. Everyone loves to be around level 5 decision makers because even if the things that need to change aren't pleasant, this individual is able to communicate in such a way that it is just natural to follow their lead.<br /><br />As you think through the five levels of decision making, I hope you saw most of your personal or professional life in either level 4 or 5, because that is where the action is. You can't get results if you are frozen by the fear of being indecisive. Life is changing fast, and you must be focused on how to rapidly change with it if you want to be more successful.<br /><br />Here is a LifeWorks Group exercise designed to coach you through the decision process. Hopefully you can use it today to rapidly sort through your options to come up with a rock solid decision and build a better future. So take out your legal pad, or map it out in an e-mail to review with a coach, mentor, or friend as you move from being frozen by fear to growing forward in greater faith because you have mastered the secrets to making right decisions.<br /><br />THE STRATEGIC COACHING DECISION MAKING PROCESS<br /><br />Define a particular problem, question, or choice you are currently struggling with<br /><br />List your options for resolving the question or choice<br /><br />Write the possible outcomes for each option, both short term and long term<br /><br />Write the benefits or risks of each option<br /><br />Determine which option corresponds most closely with your overall values and goals<br /><br />Determine which option is the healthiest choice for all involved<br /><br />Is this a decision you can commit to for a specified period of time, and if so how long?<br /><br />Talk with a supportive/trusted person about the options and write down useful<br />suggestions. (It may be tempting to skip this step, but this is one of the most valuable parts of gaining an objective perspective and to 'test' your ideas before you put them into practice).<br /><br /><br />About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a best selling Author, Certified Life Coach, Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on managing major change. He partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his blog with almost 200 complimentary articles and special reports at www.LifeWorksGroup.orgJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-40981446435985740452009-03-19T13:41:00.000-07:002009-03-19T13:45:11.020-07:00Surviving Major Life Crisis<br />10 insights to guide you through stressful events with greater strength<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group eNews, (Copyright 2004-2009"<br /><br />by: C. Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach<br /><br />Life is harder than ever it seems, yet not everyone seems to be completely overwhelmed because of it. Why do some people face major life transitions like financial stress, death, divorce, health problems, job loss, or business problems with a hopeful attitude of rebuilding and recovery while others just want to hide in fear? Everyone will face times of major life crisis, but not everyone will know how to respond to move beyond the challenge today to build confidence tomorrow. Here are ten things about crisis that will help guide you through the process of managing stressful situations to come out stronger on the other side.<br /><br />1) Crisis events are more common than you thinkEvery time you watch the evening news you are hearing about someone in crisis, but it doesn't really affect you as much because you probably don't know them. Accidents, fires, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks, bank robberies, child abuse, sex scandals, corporate fraud, crime, corporate downsizing and on and on the list goes. It's like the only thing you ever hear about on the news is the bad news! Thankfully, these terrible events don't happen to all of us at the same time, which is why some people can hear about it and not really be affected. Their life is insulated from crisis at that moment, so they don't really think about it much, however, stressful events happen all the time and at some point will affect you as well. If your life is going well, be grateful as you count your blessings. If it's falling apart, know that it's part of life and won't go on forever, so hang on as you keep reading about more ways to deal with life crisis.<br /><br />2) Crisis affects people of all ages and stages of lifeThere is an old saying that cancer doesn't care where you live, which is another way of saying that disease affects the rich and poor, young and old. Crisis is like that too because it's a common part of every stage of life, but impacts us differently at each stage. Not having a date for the prom can feel like a crisis to a high school student, while being fired from a job may seem like the end of the world to a man in the middle years of life. The level of stress and trauma is based on a lot of factors, including age, gender, personality, educational level, family connection, network of friends, emotional health, physical energy and spiritual maturity. The more life experiences you have gone through, the more likely you will view a major event with a hopeful perspective about the outcome instead of gloom and doom. Life is about growing and crisis events can often force us to change faster than we wanted to, yet with a positive end result if we learn to see it as a predictable part of the lifecycle. This is the process of moving from 'Why me?' to 'why not me?' and is a sign that you are growing beyond the simplistic view of the world as you want it to gain a greater awareness to see more of the real world with the real difficulties that people are forced to deal with every day.<br /><br />3) There are no easy answers for traumatic events"I know how you feel," is one of the worst things that you could ever say to another human being. That is unless you really have walked in their shoes through the same type of life crisis. Everyone who hears about the challenge that you are facing will want to make it better in one way or another, but often there are no quick solutions or instant pop-psychology advice available. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and there just isn't anything to say to make it better, so don't even try to help with words. Rather, help with your presence, or just help with a meal, or arrange for childcare while an exhausted Mom gets a night off, or line up some gift certificates to help out, or pitch in to help pay for a needed car repair, or just remember to pray for someone you know in crisis. While you may not have any real answers, you may have some encouraging words of hope to someone feeling very scared and alone. Better to say, 'hang in there and I'm here to help if I can," than to retreat in silence and do nothing because you aren't sure of what to say. Take action to do something positive to get through the day right now instead of spending massive amounts of time and energy trying to figure out the answer to some of the questions that likely could never be answered anyway. Knowing that you have closed the door to all of the 'what ifs' will allow your mind to open up other doors of options and possibilities, even in the most challenging of situations.<br /><br />4) Crisis events reveal your biggest fears and deepest beliefsThousands of years ago the Psalmist wrote, "God is a very present help in times of trouble," and that's more true today than ever. Critical incidents will instantly reveal more about you than you ever thought possible. What you believe about life, money, love, family, honesty, courage, hope, faith and a whole lot more will come out when everything that you thought that you believed in is suddenly shaken. Know that a crisis may take you straight to the very thing that you fear the most, which will be hard, but ultimately good because you don't have any choice but to face it and get through it the best way you can. None of this is easy, but the character and maturity you develop while struggling to just get through the day will last for years. It is helpful to journal out those fears and spend some time writing down what you believe during times like this because the insights you generate about your own identity can help you get through future events faster and stronger than you ever imagined. This is the process of removing fear to replace it with a deeper faith.<br /><br />5) Some very good people may give you some very bad adviceThe Biblical story of Job tells of a man who loses everything. Kids, money, power, career, big house, company, employees, marital connection to his wife and every single material possession. His health was destroyed and as he scraped his skin to lance the boils the only thing he could hear was the bad advice and judgmental questioning of his three friends. While it is good that they can to be with him during his time of crisis, their efforts at 'helping' seemed to turn toward putting more pressure on Job than actually making his life any more bearable. When helping people through a time of crisis I often remind them of the first rule in a crisis, which is 'don't make a bad situation worse.' No matter what you are facing today, keep in mind that while someone has it worse than you, there are a truck load of people who don't even have a clue! If someone gives you bad advice because they have been blessed to not have experienced the level of pain and suffering that you have, cut them some slack because of their naive view of life, or try to avoid them. In a crisis you don't have time or energy to try to change someone who doesn't understand painful trauma, so sometimes it really would be preferable to just try to avoid that person. Better to seek out others who have walked on the same road of grief that you are on so that you can learn from their insights instead of feeling misunderstood by the lectures of those who haven't been tested in those areas of character development. At some point there is a time to move on to learn the lesson that Job did so long ago. God is always faithful, even when your closest friends let you down.<br /><br />6) Major world events like terrorism or natural disasters can magnify the stress and pressure you are already facingWhatever you are going through is intensified by other factors, like terrorism or a community wide disaster. If your marriage is breaking up while you are trying to deal with finding ice or gasoline to run a generator it will feel overwhelming all the time. We can only deal with a certain amount of stress and pressure from crisis events, no matter where they are coming from. If you are totally focused on tuning in to see if the London terrorists are being brought to justice while trying to care for your aged parents who are facing huge financial challenges, you will run out of emotional energy to cope really, really fast. Better to just pray for those people in London and then turn all of your energy toward dealing with what's on your plate right here and right now. Unless you have to watch the video footage from other world events for your job, turn the TV off to turn toward reducing the amount of painful issues on your plate for today. You will make it through seasons of crisis a lot better if you remove any outside source that you don't have to deal with today. This includes things like being overwhelmed by future events like funding your three year old daughters college tuition or if you will keep your job until the next Presidential election. You must manage your emotional energy wisely today by not worrying about things too far down the road during a time of crisis. Stabilize the crisis today so that you can see clearly to deal with the future events when you are at a stronger and more focused place.<br /><br />7) Strength, confidence and character come on the other side of life crisis Someone once said that hard times will make you bitter or they will make you better and that is especially true during seasons of trials and discouragement. We know that the difficult challenges can make us prone to anxiety, depression, fears, doubts, resentfulness, hatefulness and bitterness. What we fail to think about is that those very same crisis events can push us to stretch and grow into a more disciplined and focused human being. Here's an insight though, it's either one or the other. It's been my experience that people either allow the circumstances of life to shape them into stronger people, or they spend their life whining about how unfair life is to them. Hey, a lot of the good things in life are dramatically affected by how you look at it. Some people view being fired from a job that they really didn't like as a blessing, while others may think that it spells out financial ruin and bankruptcy. Learn to see crisis events for what they are-an event. They are not usually the end of life, however they may spell out the beginning of a major change, which will greatly impact life. It's sort of like sweating in the gym while exercising your body to achieve a healthier result. The painful process of pushing your body with weights and aerobic gradually activity brings a better result. St. James said it this way, "The testing of your faith builds patience and maturity." To have deep inner faith and personal power you have to press on through the trials of life, instead of just avoiding them or asking others to sort it all out for you. No one can take action to get confidence for you, but you! Get up as you can and move forward so that you can make positive growth in the days ahead.<br /><br />8) The greater the crisis, the greater you need others to get through itYou can get through a bad hair day alone, but you can't get through a loved one's cancer treatments without major levels of support. We need others to make it through life and that is particularly true during crisis events. The bigger the challenge you are facing, the more supports, coping skills and healthy behaviors are required to move through it. Obviously this issue takes every positive resource that you can find, while avoiding the negatives. So begin to seek out the counselors, pastors, social workers, psychologists, physicians, nurses, attorneys, law enforcement, chiropractors or support groups that will be needed to challenge the process and bring about change. In many regions of the country there are hotline telephone numbers linked to community resource agencies that offer all kinds of help and guidance, much of which is free. (In central Florida where I live it's accessed by dialing '211' from any telephone, which links to a live operator who has a listing of thousands of people and places to address every issue from Adoption to Alzheimer's. Another great resource on managing crisis events is through the writings of June Hunt at www.HopefortheHeart.com ). You and I need others and would likely go out of our way to help others if the roles were reversed, so don't be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself in the position to need it. Letting other people help you can unlock a whole new world of service and insight into how others are dealing and coping to grow to a stronger place on the other side of crisis.<br /><br />9) Stressful or traumatic events don't go on foreverSomeone once said that the often quoted phrase, 'things come to pass' would be better stated as, 'things come to pass, but they don't come to stay.' Keeping your focus on getting through the day and moving past the past to move toward a better place ahead is essential if you want to get to a better place after a life crisis. There are seasons in life and they are constantly changing, even when we don't realize it. Consider an event like a college student moving out of their parents home to their first apartment. If that young person is prepared for the road ahead, this will be one of their most exciting and fulfilling times. If they aren't, then they may find every excuse to avoid dealing the logical progression of reality that will force them to grow up anyway, or over-invest in pushing their Mom to build the nest bigger to keep them from feeling the stress of changing roles, (letting go of their mommy to gain her back as a mentor). Change is hard on everyone, but change is the most common part of life, so when you hear someone tell you that the present trends will continue and that the sky is actually going to fall one day, please ignore them. Nothing lasts forever, including times of life crisis. If you are in a time of testing and trial, know that it won't go on forever, nor will the calmness of those who haven't had a real crisis event in their entire life. To that person I say 'buckle up' because it may be that God will one day take them to some steep places to show that what they said they believed is really true. Oh yes and to show a better way to view maintaining balance in life when you don't have to stay in control of everything that you really couldn't control anyway.<br /><br />10) Crisis events prove true the promises of GodFor well over twenty years I've been honored to work as a counselor with wonderful people who often were at the hardest part of their life because of major crisis or painful trauma. The bad news is that they had been knocked down and thrown off course from the life that they wanted by various critical incidents and crisis events. Someone told me once that 'there is no testimony with out a test' and I believe that is true because I believe that God allows every thing to happen for a reason. However, the good news is that they were able to get through it and became stronger in the process of moving through the crisis, instead of running away from it. I've seen it thousands of times, regular people facing horrible circumstances became more balanced and focused in every area of life because of it. The crisis was hard, but in the process of just getting through the day they discovered more about what they believed and how much better life could be than they ever before could have imagined. Life takes on a new meaning when what you believe has gone through the fire, because something in the fire burns away the impurities and the wastefulness to plainly reveal what matters most. I've watched people who didn't believe in anything spiritual become filled with a sense of direction and purpose to make a positive difference in the world with God's help. The crisis revealed what they could be, as well as what would have to change to grow to a new level of success. The hard lessons that come from crisis have long lasting and life-changing results. I've seen people change in more ways than you could imagine because of having a season of carrying the crucible of a crisis. Things like daddy's who were too busy to spend five minutes playing catch with a child become 'father of the year' candidates after an emergency room experience. Mother's who were obsessed with shopping become budget-minded financial managers while rebuilding their life after their husband died. Men who loved their careers more than they ever would love a wife become softened and surrendered to view that woman as the most important person in their world. Women who placed their children above all else become insightful and aware of their own insecurities and need for control to release those kids to become who they were supposed to be, instead of being stuck in the shadows of their mother's expectations. Young people who moved from meaningless relationships and empty jobs to connected friendships and purpose-driven careers.<br /><br />People give up spending money on drugs, gambling, pornography or alcohol to let go of the addictions and grab hold of a stable life with careful financial management leading them to be free from debt forever. I've seen miracles through crisis situations so many times that I can tell you that prayer is real and essential to experience peace during the stormy trials of life. I know that God's promises to comfort, protect, guide, cover and bless his children are real. I know it because of what I've seen in walking through crisis with people from every culture, every age group and every background. They got better as they prayerfully moved toward truth and allowed others to help them get back on track to a better quality of life in spite of the difficulties of their painful past.<br /><br />They got better and I'm glad, yet I have one last question, "so how about you?" When is it your turn to have a better quality of life in spite of difficulty? My hope is that you will turn the corner right now to boldly move in a new direction away from the stress and pressure to move toward the strength and purpose that only comes because of a life-changing word...Crisis.<br /><br /><br />About the author- C. Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture.<br /><br />Subscribe to this valuable weekly counseling and coaching resource at www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-90613689293310087092009-01-22T12:13:00.000-08:002009-01-22T12:32:22.315-08:00women & worry"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009), <br /><br />The psychological dynamics behind women & worry <br />By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach<br /><br /><br />Women worry about many different topics, from men to body image to relationships to their mother's approval; yet the same psychological drive is fueling this stressful emotion no matter what triggers it. I believe the real source behind the worry most women feel is control.<br /><br />Not control in the sense of being a manipulative monster, (like Jane Fonda's character in the film "Monster-in-Law"), rather it's the need to know what's happening around her so she can feel empowered and in control of her emotions and environment. <br /><br />Think of it this way. <br />The Cure for Worry is Control<br />When control goes up, worry goes down because the more a woman can understand the more she will automatically feel a sense of security and confidence inside. However, as a situation begins to feel out of control, worry dramatically increases, leading to more serious conditions like<br /><br />· Social Phobia<br />· Stress disorders with physical symptoms like migraines<br />· Generalized Anxiety Disorders or<br />· Panic Attacks<br /><br />Women process information verbally which is why they need to talk through so many issues to feel comfortable. When a woman feels connected through communication she feels confident and alive, instead of afraid.<br /><br />Listen don’t Lecture<br />Men would do well to figure out that they could make rapid improvement in their relationships with women simply by listening, instead of lecturing the women in their life. She doesn’t want a quick ‘Mr. Fix-it” answer usually, she wants you to listen and allow them to sort through their fears, worries and concerns. When a woman feels safe in the relationship, her worries fade and psychological energy can be spent on living life, instead of living in fear of what might happen next.<br /><br />There is a biblical principle that says, “Cast all of your worries on God, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Learn to give your worries to God through prayer, that way even if the people in your life don’t listen you can rest safe knowing that God always will be there for you.<br /><br />About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. <br /><br />Reprint Permission- If this article was helpful you are invited to share it with your own list at work, church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Any links must remain in the article. Please include the following in your reprint.<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009), subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource at www.LifeWorksGroup.org "Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-25052858594787457442008-11-06T06:29:00.000-08:002008-11-06T06:32:18.519-08:00Understanding PEDS (Post-Election Distress Syndrome)"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group, www.LifeWorksGroup.org eNews (Copyright, 2004-2008, by the LifeWorks Group)"<br /><br />Understanding the Psychology of Post-Election Distress Syndrome<br />By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor<br /><br />A major election leads to major change—psychologically, that is. No matter who wins an election, the unexpected emotional let down or explosive reaction after the ballots are counted can be overwhelming to many, especially the aged or over-involved who can be set up for crushing amounts of what I call P.E.D.S. or Post-Election Distress Syndrome.<br /><br />This election has likely been the most stressful of any during our lifetime because of numbing news fatigue and continual media over-exposure, yet the real problems are yet to come. Personal anxiety, professional panic and poorly thought out decisions are on the horizon regardless of your political persuasion.<br /><br />Why such a gloomy projection?<br /><br />It's based on how this election process has been so overwhelming much of the time with months of negative news, never ending data to process and confusing choices to make on complex issues while partisan experts are shouting every half-hour on news/talk stations that we are all doomed if their candidate doesn't win. Not to mention the huge challenge on who is trust-worthy, since you often don't know who will say something inappropriate on YouTube and crash their credibility, leaving you feeling very alone to make some major decisions without leaders who lacked the strength of character to stand on their convictions instead of popular opinion polls.<br /><br />Mountain top experiences guarantee the next step is always the valley<br /><br />Think of a major campaign like climbing a major mountain range. You prepare for years and climb for months to finally reach the top. Once there the view is great. You take some pictures, but you can't stay on a mountain top, so no matter which way you head, it's down in any direction. After the mountain top comes the valley, which is a normal part of life. The danger is that for many people the downward slide is so unexpected. Most actual mountain climbing accidents happen on the way down, and I project that there will be millions of people who are unprepared for the emotional upheaval they are about to experience after the election is over.<br /><br />Everyone will feel some degree of emotional let down once the issues have been decided and the acceptance speeches are given. That's normal, however for some the removal of posters, signs, balloons and banners will lead to a free fall of depressing emotions. If someone has been a 'news junkie' the last few months it will be especially stressful. Those feelings of distress will come out in one of two ways.<br /><br />Two possible reactions to post-election distress<br /><br />1) Anger –<br />Which can lead to violence and impulsive decisions. People who feel violated by the election process will often turn to dumping volcanic levels of anger at someone or something to find relief for the pressure inside. This can lead to devastating decisions, impulsive rage or using the wrong words in front of the wrong people and losing credibility or worse a job. This can happen in men or women, young or old, but is most commonly seen in more extroverted personalities and it tends to blow up and blow out fast.<br /><br />2) Apathy –<br />This is a more dangerous reaction, since it can lead from distress to the early stages of depression. Stuffing emotions inside is like burying them alive and they just keep building up, yet instead of blowing up and out, they blow in. This leads a person to feel emotionally numb, and often can cause an individual to commit a series of very quiet, yet very harmful self-destructive acts. Eating for comfort, drinking to numb the pain, hooking up with the wrong partner to try and forget about the election or just refusing to answer the phone, closing the mini-blinds and checking out on life like a hermit hiding in a dark cave.<br /><br />The best choice after an election is completed is Acceptance. It's over and now it's time to move on with whatever leaders and issues the majority of voters selected. You can't change the outcome of an election, but you can freak yourself out with fears about the future apocalypse predicted by many. Don't do that! Life will go on, and your world will continue. God is bigger than any politician and isn't in a panic, so trust in heaven's agenda and not that of Washington and you'll immediately find a deeper level of peace.<br /><br />What happens in your house is way more important than what happens in the White House since you can't control what political leaders do, but you can control you. Let this journey off of the political 'mountain' be one of a growing sense of perspective as you remember that after the valley there will be another mountain to climb. There will be another day to vote on national issues and when the dust settles your life will usually be about as good as you choose to make it. This approach takes the power to control your mood away from the politicians or the media, so you can build a better life without losing sleep or energy from the dangers of post-election distress syndrome.<br /><br />Reprint Permission- If this article was helpful you are invited to share it electronically or in print with your own list at work or church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Please include the following paragraph in your reprint and thanks for helping us to help others to stay calm during this season of change.<br /><br />"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group, www.LifeWorksGroup.org eNews (Copyright, 2004-2008, by the LifeWorks Group)"<br /><br />About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his counseling blog with over 150 complimentary articles and special reports at www.LifeWorksGroup.orgJuanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-82209794903496942002008-08-27T08:51:00.000-07:002008-09-02T06:19:53.310-07:00Mi garden and me<span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">For the first time our law school closed for a week and I had an unplanned vacation to stay home. It was mid July and quite hot in this western city of Puerto Rico, but being outdoors was what my soul required ... so I found a new hobby: gardening. It wasn't totally new to me, but definetely at a new level, more ambitious and with real usefulness, based on the fluctuations of today's world economy. It was still fun, and here some pictures to prove it:<br /></span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMkZt6TSNcb9TxKm_OnJXgW0HjUatj1hAkU6kHfNYPE7chsu-V-g6O79g9SdOCB6yK7lMSu7_B5oamUBX_2_kr-zOLFBeKVocPxrBf2532T5UfvqjSjvmIiVbxJObguNFFXZ6CilqS7-g/s1600-h/2717934802_bb15ce8eea.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239258372730163842" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 297px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 203px" height="267" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMkZt6TSNcb9TxKm_OnJXgW0HjUatj1hAkU6kHfNYPE7chsu-V-g6O79g9SdOCB6yK7lMSu7_B5oamUBX_2_kr-zOLFBeKVocPxrBf2532T5UfvqjSjvmIiVbxJObguNFFXZ6CilqS7-g/s320/2717934802_bb15ce8eea.jpg" width="309" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;"><--Yautía - a root vegetable that takes a whole year to give fruit. They resemble a long potato, but the taste is very different. It's a healthy side dish that can be served mashed with oil and garlic and can also be used to prepare "pasteles", one of our typical christmas dishes. I continue to plant some more in the back, so we can enjoy them for several months next year... </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;">Hopefully there wont be any huricanes or bad storms messing with them.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncGnSDMheHAvVPVL49XhtZCQJDyDMnihGniecAIq-Y-2DbYD4jj7kGpBdwoknqPEieHVb1TGxkSMl2synGoMIcbG8fNP4JL9-AgxpSKUKefUCQAalOCM-KLkuiBV-BsFnRctAVk0-1iQ/s1600-h/2717119215_e041ce1f68.jpg"></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2sAZwLSCrXMulysg7gzpaRdUHhgYFImWxc8Xb5Hlo3r9yE-Wo7nn8VVLqQFA-YlxEb7YP3WTN2E_Yvzyhu0Yg8Hf4ow3MvMBSbwVERP2P5FDSo26XN-MAQTzUMSVWgcXcxuLpWiA6XY/s1600-h/2717142375_b979960245.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2gsR_9VfZzH16lKs_Ls_SYu2TFsO2g93xG3KOLv_9c46gWxI4In58FBPoWUMfStIBf9y8z70IbTBluBLHaNuRcKbmuBfCsKybMOQlvx54WrON4f9y3_065iQohX8me7NrJE4qxeBW27E/s1600-h/2717212897_7dcb2c31dd.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239258381467314978" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 363px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 226px" height="130" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2gsR_9VfZzH16lKs_Ls_SYu2TFsO2g93xG3KOLv_9c46gWxI4In58FBPoWUMfStIBf9y8z70IbTBluBLHaNuRcKbmuBfCsKybMOQlvx54WrON4f9y3_065iQohX8me7NrJE4qxeBW27E/s320/2717212897_7dcb2c31dd.jpg" width="103" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;">A couple of visitors made my work more enjoyable:<br /><br /><--- San Pedrito de Puerto Rico - a small insect eater that protects the coffee trees - his top part is all green, making it hard to see in the trees, his song sounds like a kiss blown in the air, and his nest is a little cave he digs in the side of the hills. --> Lizard - keeps the flies away and is a temptation for Kiwi, my cat.<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxMGa8TXviCYS0hqSiAB5-xeoKaBzDUp0uM4xnvPUU_-bWU025zDdlA45yJpcnZuUzp9j8J6oVDF1LUK3jWh26u5IG2LxD2RMHvyv90suCkKPQEzKcNI9KoaBrJ5K2p5WoXqJrfmTFa4/s1600-h/2717949130_ef7d027f3e.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239293786233835090" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 293px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 172px" height="118" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaxMGa8TXviCYS0hqSiAB5-xeoKaBzDUp0uM4xnvPUU_-bWU025zDdlA45yJpcnZuUzp9j8J6oVDF1LUK3jWh26u5IG2LxD2RMHvyv90suCkKPQEzKcNI9KoaBrJ5K2p5WoXqJrfmTFa4/s320/2717949130_ef7d027f3e.jpg" width="135" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrt4MTKKe6vyJ9xsxaEmZmVX-tXx3XrkOgN8neNur6EQwf_U8rWBnNDvOoXjLnvoPhmhyphenhyphen6qpagdrTYWwFmJPscD9-xjmr80ZDZ4O9F-59PX2gbPvnrKKhi5yPQc9tacTqE7QinFXo_bWQ/s1600-h/2717137555_78603bc659.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239293791877147858" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 314px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 254px" height="98" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrt4MTKKe6vyJ9xsxaEmZmVX-tXx3XrkOgN8neNur6EQwf_U8rWBnNDvOoXjLnvoPhmhyphenhyphen6qpagdrTYWwFmJPscD9-xjmr80ZDZ4O9F-59PX2gbPvnrKKhi5yPQc9tacTqE7QinFXo_bWQ/s320/2717137555_78603bc659.jpg" width="90" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">--> Not easy to keep the yard clean... it's all Adam and Eve's fault....<br /><br /><br />---> and Nicolas' fault too !!<br /></span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2sAZwLSCrXMulysg7gzpaRdUHhgYFImWxc8Xb5Hlo3r9yE-Wo7nn8VVLqQFA-YlxEb7YP3WTN2E_Yvzyhu0Yg8Hf4ow3MvMBSbwVERP2P5FDSo26XN-MAQTzUMSVWgcXcxuLpWiA6XY/s1600-h/2717142375_b979960245.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239293796603842226" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 342px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 242px" height="136" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh2sAZwLSCrXMulysg7gzpaRdUHhgYFImWxc8Xb5Hlo3r9yE-Wo7nn8VVLqQFA-YlxEb7YP3WTN2E_Yvzyhu0Yg8Hf4ow3MvMBSbwVERP2P5FDSo26XN-MAQTzUMSVWgcXcxuLpWiA6XY/s320/2717142375_b979960245.jpg" width="157" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeXlyA7z4fMyMLL-DIIMJuR2moAGIJeW92Xvk_0Wz3KO05Uivce2tdy3BFwy3uBn7j3P-uYBG-DmVMXR3lEbUtoRKiCi9tGc3LzbTw4VYN5FCq6Pno-yZ4gV9jllZ3FkFRRu3ZKVWFLk8/s1600-h/2717152541_f4c45bae68.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239293881264716802" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 321px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 205px" height="177" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeXlyA7z4fMyMLL-DIIMJuR2moAGIJeW92Xvk_0Wz3KO05Uivce2tdy3BFwy3uBn7j3P-uYBG-DmVMXR3lEbUtoRKiCi9tGc3LzbTw4VYN5FCq6Pno-yZ4gV9jllZ3FkFRRu3ZKVWFLk8/s320/2717152541_f4c45bae68.jpg" width="153" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;"><-- A blooming farmer; I think my grandfather would be proud of me.. I really enjoy this!! --><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg8QJnNXZm9HKptC0pI_crXIu5t5EpOxdD8YFCLlfRsyqJn2wZfnoWiouOe7OMobmUzZbB-rG9sX5sdByPw3EInfIEyZeQwhWtIrXiiShcERBTBx9bbOtwzlojBdr_M6C1n-VV8SOlHZc/s1600-h/2717146275_8a35d9c480.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239293877137899442" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 228px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 163px" height="121" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg8QJnNXZm9HKptC0pI_crXIu5t5EpOxdD8YFCLlfRsyqJn2wZfnoWiouOe7OMobmUzZbB-rG9sX5sdByPw3EInfIEyZeQwhWtIrXiiShcERBTBx9bbOtwzlojBdr_M6C1n-VV8SOlHZc/s320/2717146275_8a35d9c480.jpg" width="140" border="0" /></span></a></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncGnSDMheHAvVPVL49XhtZCQJDyDMnihGniecAIq-Y-2DbYD4jj7kGpBdwoknqPEieHVb1TGxkSMl2synGoMIcbG8fNP4JL9-AgxpSKUKefUCQAalOCM-KLkuiBV-BsFnRctAVk0-1iQ/s1600-h/2717119215_e041ce1f68.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKAy3-g82dEShGVzGxsX6AXUQI2h4XvhB59iumc1iXECYCvISkD6S8vUqsR_AzxcDdBcycE1sB-V24ecUZB0RmJ0B0ph_4VA28oy53P56XbmVH3boJgKFvgUwYTZbO_eanQsU9I92TGY/s1600-h/2717995632_0c44e8d6f5.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239317339952495314" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="199" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKAy3-g82dEShGVzGxsX6AXUQI2h4XvhB59iumc1iXECYCvISkD6S8vUqsR_AzxcDdBcycE1sB-V24ecUZB0RmJ0B0ph_4VA28oy53P56XbmVH3boJgKFvgUwYTZbO_eanQsU9I92TGY/s200/2717995632_0c44e8d6f5.jpg" width="328" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;"><-- Tito prepares the soil for planting okra.. which is a vegetable that we love to eat. We usually cook it together with some meat and accompany with white rice.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;">--> okra seed - it took less than a week for the first little leaves to come up.. that was exciting!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:78%;"></span><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim44o9Xuptdz_jhoeqatEZoQO5cGIazDDZp4g-1a4CHxVHn02O9HlRfep7QpBFXwyR6hXCZnSIXizQIsRMC5j0WgXWEmGfXDU8Kk5vvmHESacdhTCLjeV-7VwRJviwae_sYWlgo1qNwTU/s1600-h/2717229303_886f5dc077.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239317338584994674" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 220px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 216px" height="206" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim44o9Xuptdz_jhoeqatEZoQO5cGIazDDZp4g-1a4CHxVHn02O9HlRfep7QpBFXwyR6hXCZnSIXizQIsRMC5j0WgXWEmGfXDU8Kk5vvmHESacdhTCLjeV-7VwRJviwae_sYWlgo1qNwTU/s200/2717229303_886f5dc077.jpg" width="281" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUG7zu0TveDymIisObKlIVwHhfqfN7I7z7egNXWYBp-0HrMPNf7sO69m2YlpbGh7Q2F1-BiF1T0D_4kp9CeDK5FpPX-JqamZAWLb6IIm7wRahfOVgveMRyayqnNj8CvHdB89fMxMb3HYs/s1600-h/2717191653_6fd27f1b1c.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240006945368037186" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUG7zu0TveDymIisObKlIVwHhfqfN7I7z7egNXWYBp-0HrMPNf7sO69m2YlpbGh7Q2F1-BiF1T0D_4kp9CeDK5FpPX-JqamZAWLb6IIm7wRahfOVgveMRyayqnNj8CvHdB89fMxMb3HYs/s320/2717191653_6fd27f1b1c.jpg" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /><--Another wonderful visitor: a stick bug... first time I see one "in person".. we were very careful not to harm him. --> We put him on this 'yautía' leave where he stayed a long time, for us to enjoy his company.<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPVcaKSXC7N2zcKUKGwMVgDNtSHgQqTB2C7OUnfD6HiIUHsr8mLFDYYuMxng68rCfAX81mzPnWWDvrVhzQyFNiFYiGGzGigWlbFwzpyCw7fEuQn2xnFU_SY3CRFYHWyWNJ3GAL4GfLgww/s1600-h/2717193909_ac3eb6f979.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239317346654898434" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="231" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPVcaKSXC7N2zcKUKGwMVgDNtSHgQqTB2C7OUnfD6HiIUHsr8mLFDYYuMxng68rCfAX81mzPnWWDvrVhzQyFNiFYiGGzGigWlbFwzpyCw7fEuQn2xnFU_SY3CRFYHWyWNJ3GAL4GfLgww/s200/2717193909_ac3eb6f979.jpg" width="270" border="0" /></span></a></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPVcaKSXC7N2zcKUKGwMVgDNtSHgQqTB2C7OUnfD6HiIUHsr8mLFDYYuMxng68rCfAX81mzPnWWDvrVhzQyFNiFYiGGzGigWlbFwzpyCw7fEuQn2xnFU_SY3CRFYHWyWNJ3GAL4GfLgww/s1600-h/2717193909_ac3eb6f979.jpg"></a><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><p></p><br /><br /><br /><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbd0Bn1j02COtSFcRLXRvc-DyOeLxzEtg17XMglSiaJ2ozp28D-QsNeE3V-L_vBI2n2gvg8UU7OJMSKuh7EKCCnBZcJQ5NvKS6wjVf-IJBbPHEY-BaQckI-w932HzryUsmIPE_zt8Iyw/s1600-h/2717974170_232f98dfe4.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240006948346364786" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGbd0Bn1j02COtSFcRLXRvc-DyOeLxzEtg17XMglSiaJ2ozp28D-QsNeE3V-L_vBI2n2gvg8UU7OJMSKuh7EKCCnBZcJQ5NvKS6wjVf-IJBbPHEY-BaQckI-w932HzryUsmIPE_zt8Iyw/s320/2717974170_232f98dfe4.jpg" border="0" /></span></a></p><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><-- Don't ask me... must be the sun and the hard work!!</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">--> OMG... Nicolas too... this is bad!!</span><br /><br /><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaNIKNjfzM-9x-h9AeewRQ5lL7oMlIrXFJgQTVbOX-XBCdo_KM-kf2x5-IUfZznxFU1tWLuW2MxnwY58Zx9vPBdqdkNdFB5vjNbPOaDsY1QKBBXGD3YFKjyXxz3kISnImvD2Vd0n6GpwY/s1600-h/2717161555_f2121a9586.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240006948854799106" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="160" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaNIKNjfzM-9x-h9AeewRQ5lL7oMlIrXFJgQTVbOX-XBCdo_KM-kf2x5-IUfZznxFU1tWLuW2MxnwY58Zx9vPBdqdkNdFB5vjNbPOaDsY1QKBBXGD3YFKjyXxz3kISnImvD2Vd0n6GpwY/s320/2717161555_f2121a9586.jpg" width="294" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><br /><br /><p align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia-agZMT6mGdE9e4OdkAzncSJw5Ot4R3lI_VlG3sofeogpYBvZLJrmk_5bmbgUUQuDiXUQ0FXpZDy4y1O7N0ly5X7EXMmPdLgZGACeRXapd7BzuH9VZbx5fRqGEuAw4UulKUXgqouMMH4/s1600-h/2757542506_f96ce8e421.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240006951299466578" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia-agZMT6mGdE9e4OdkAzncSJw5Ot4R3lI_VlG3sofeogpYBvZLJrmk_5bmbgUUQuDiXUQ0FXpZDy4y1O7N0ly5X7EXMmPdLgZGACeRXapd7BzuH9VZbx5fRqGEuAw4UulKUXgqouMMH4/s320/2757542506_f96ce8e421.jpg" border="0" /></span></a></p><span style="font-size:78%;"><-- Always wanted to plant some flowers... hopefully they'll keep blooming and I will try a few more. </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">--> This is how big the okra plants are growing in August... we hope to have a good harvest soon... of "molondrones" or "quimbombó" which are a couple of our names for okra.</span><br /><p align="right"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLk2xVQHzpTQ-OKLQdLTtda_SuMmPMS2L5mALXAY19Rkr3OPyBi53IhddFWkD6anqe5HxQkRO-fPi2TRhWOSybmbWSGVjXOL1gDrkJt-Ktna-ZoRrWFM0ojATQdl5vaGGgRl972jkqlLQ/s1600-h/2757551278_a4de1b60b4.jpg"><span style="font-size:78%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240006956144002290" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLk2xVQHzpTQ-OKLQdLTtda_SuMmPMS2L5mALXAY19Rkr3OPyBi53IhddFWkD6anqe5HxQkRO-fPi2TRhWOSybmbWSGVjXOL1gDrkJt-Ktna-ZoRrWFM0ojATQdl5vaGGgRl972jkqlLQ/s320/2757551278_a4de1b60b4.jpg" border="0" /></span></a></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncGnSDMheHAvVPVL49XhtZCQJDyDMnihGniecAIq-Y-2DbYD4jj7kGpBdwoknqPEieHVb1TGxkSMl2synGoMIcbG8fNP4JL9-AgxpSKUKefUCQAalOCM-KLkuiBV-BsFnRctAVk0-1iQ/s1600-h/2717119215_e041ce1f68.jpg"></a>Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6339153197717517793.post-27369926190361347762008-06-18T12:08:00.000-07:002008-07-31T11:49:16.697-07:00cicadas... oh, my "chicharras"Main Entry: ci·ca·da <a class="audio" href="javascript:popWin(" wav="cicada')""></a><a class="audio" href="javascript:popWin(" wav="cicada')""></a><br />Pronunciation: \sə-ˈkā-də, -ˈkä-; sī-ˈkā-\<br />Function: noun<br />Inflected Form(s): plural ci·ca·das also ci·ca·dae <a class="audio" href="javascript:popWin(" wav="cicadae')""></a>\-ˈkā-(ˌ)dē, -ˈkä-\<br />Etymology: New Latin, genus name, from Latin, cicada<br />Date: 14th century<br />: any of a family (Cicadidae) of homopterous insects which have a stout body, wide blunt head, and large transparent wings and the males of which produce a loud buzzing noise usually by stridulation<br />SOURCE: <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cicadas">http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cicadas</a><br /><br />My grandmother, Francisca, used to tell me that you could attract a "chicharra" by moving your leather sole sandals or shoes back and forth loudly over the wooden floor until the little bug appeared at your feet. Rubber sole sandals and sneakers became popular when I was a kid, so I never tried her trick. Also I didn't want to think about what would happen next if the little creature showed up at my feet. Could it be that my little, frail, blue eyed and braided long haired "mamá" would be so cruel as to step on that innocent although loud little bug... well, the thought just ruins my poetic concept of "Mamá Sica".<br />I have to admit that bugs can really bug you. I especially hated as a kid, and still do, the winged ants that invade our houses at night in the tropic. They always come in bunches, on certain damp nights, and huddle around the light that is right above you when you are trying to read and relax. I don't feel too cruel when I swap a few of these aimlessly.<br />But the chicharras are special to me. They became special in 1996, when I was building the little country house where I live now.<br />It was mid October at about 6:30 PM when I “met” them, as they broke the quietness of my future hidden paradise with the loudest choir of chicharras I ever heard… I was overwhelmed with the worrisome thought of how I could live permanently in this place. My trauma lasted about 4 minutes because all of the sudden the choir stopped… what happened? Silence returned, only broken by a single song of a loner chicharra here and there in the familiar puertorrican nightly song, performed also by some crickets accompanying the main song of the coquí. This was fine: I could live with this!<br />And I have for 12 ½ years. I learned, since that first encounter, that I would experience this 4-or-so-minutes choir each night, at the same time, without missing a beat! Except that I noticed, when the days became shorter as we approached the Christmas season, that the choir of chicharras would be a little earlier… as if they knew (or announced) the beginning of the night each night. By the time we actually moved to our “casita” in January of 1997, the chicharras were performing their nightly song at 6 PM. But then one night they didn’t perform, and I missed them. I was so accustomed to them; I could set my watch by their song. But they didn’t sing the next night either, nor the following nights, or weeks or months! Maybe we had disturbed their paradise and they had left us, probably breaking the ecological equilibrium of the universe.<br />My guilt lasted until the middle of May, when one night, unexpectedly: I heard my friends’ choir again! I couldn’t believe my ears, but how couldn’t I … they were so marvelously loud!! It was about 7 PM, so I was alert the next night, and they didn’t disappoint me. I concluded that maybe they were mating during those spring nights so I accepted the situation as something positive now. That first summer in my casita I understood that the chicharras were definitely announcing the beginning of the night, as their song was heard as late as 7:20 PM, when our longest day ended at about 7:30 PM. And they continued, imperceptibly earlier each night throughout the rest of the year until mid January when their song was at about 6 PM and then stopped again. I couldn’t find anything in my books that would tell me about what I had discovered, and everyone I shared it with had not noticed this pattern. But when mid May came, my friends returned; and I knew everything in the universe was still ok.<br />Twelve years later I still listen to them and celebrate their faithfulness in doing what was designed by the Creator for them to do. Today, July 24, 2008, I made this little video in my back yard, at 7:12 PM, so I’m sharing with you my beloved chicharra choir at Barrio Rosario of Mayagüez. Puerto Rico.<br /><p><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dywanKMKmnQyt1MdF6pEuvRVLAsouvNgLV8LLlPrt3ge1f4DUwZuyn4ceuuA9Dov1B1TLlWBiY01QzfkB4-Xw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></p><p>CHECK THIS SITE: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicadidae#Cicada_song">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicadidae#Cicada_song</a></p>Juanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882146467767842190noreply@blogger.com4